i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
