Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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