Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
