Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
