he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
