Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
