If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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