well I can't set my house on fire every night
barbara walters just said penis...
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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