Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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