Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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