he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I have aggressive nipples.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
