Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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