You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
