i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
