hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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