Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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