My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize