So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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