How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
