3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
