I love black thongs
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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