it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
