my vag is so smooth its legendary
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
