And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
