There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I think your dad took our porno
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
