Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
