if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
