YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
