She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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