I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
