Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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