she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
is it fun? or sober?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
