I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
