we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
