we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
