Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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