that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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