Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
