the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
should my penis look like a turkey
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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