Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
