I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
