yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
