ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
