Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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