the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
