I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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