theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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