Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize