i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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