last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
