I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
