You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
