My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Randomize
