he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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