This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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