I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
