just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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