I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
He kissed a someone with a penis
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
