An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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