this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
