Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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