We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i will never coherently bang her
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
