East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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