I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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