My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
