I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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